Today, I really wanted to write about toxic friendships. A toxic friendship can include many different things that make it toxic and you may not actually realise that it is.
Unfortunately, I’ve experienced what I have come to realise was a very toxic friendship. I considered this person one of the most important people in my life but for some reason, things started to change.
There were changes in circumstance which we should have been able to deal with but instead, for some reason, ended in hostility. Now, I don’t want this to seem as though I place all the blame on this person – friendship is a two-way street and I take some responsibility for how everything turned out.
However, things became very conflicted and we rarely had a conversation that didn’t end with some sort of disagreement or awkwardness. I also felt that I wasn’t treated very well and was a used and then thrown aside when I wasn’t needed anymore. In the end, I knew I had to get out.
So, I thought I would compile a list of tips on how to recognise a toxic friendship and how to get out of it.
- If you feel like you’re there for them but they never give you the same support, ask yourself, is this someone I really want to be friends with? Friendships should be equal.
- If they’re not making any time for you because they’re too busy doing this or that or cancelling plans (I mean often, not just a one off), then your time is better spent with friends that make time for you despite how much they have going on. Obviously, most people are busy with work etc so you have to arrange around that but if they’re making it even more difficult, I’d see that as a warning sign.
- If all they bring to your life is negativity and you’re not actually getting anything out of the friendship, it may be time to let it go. It may sound selfish but a friendship should benefit two people and if you feel like you’re not getting anything out of it, you’re well within your right to say ‘this isn’t working for me.’
- With a toxic friendship, it’s more often than not going to be better to end it. There’s no need to be horrible about it but you don’t have to be involved in something that isn’t good for you.
- Having said that, not all friendships that show some of these signs are toxic. Sometimes, people go through a tough patch where a friendship has to take the back seat for a while but you can work at a friendship to keep it going.
- It will probably be hard to cut this person out of your life. It’s a bit like a break-up as you’re losing someone close to you. But, you have to remember that they were only bringing negativity into your life.
- It’s also important to remember that even if a friendship turned toxic and you had to let it go, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t brilliant once. Mine certainly was but then turned sour. But, I still hold fond memories of some great times before then. And that’s OK.
I hope that this could help someone. If you have any other tips on how to deal with toxic friendships, or need some advice, feel free to leave a comment or my Twitter is below.